Females in STEM work: Essential. Needed.

According to the daily tidbit on my desktop recently, only 6.7% of STEM graduates are female.  6.7% !   6.7 out of 100. I did a little digging and it looks like women hold approximately 24% of STEM jobs.    This matters.  And these numbers are detrimental to society.  If women held more STEM jobs, our world would look much different.  It could be argued that we live in a world designed by men.  And any woman who has helped design a home or a building alongside a male will agree, men simply don't think of everything.  Heck, if not for Margaret Hamilton (pictured), we may have never found our way to the moon!

Science, Technology, Engineering and Math careers, in many ways, determine the functionality of a society. STEM minds design roads, bridges, medical breakthroughs, vehicles, bras, tampons, diapers, baby formulas, LED lights, and IV machines.  They advise us on banking, they design communications systems and create computer programs that dramatically streamline our lives.  And all of these useful, essential means of STEM related work, according to the data, have incredibly limited input by women.  WHA?!

The female and male experience create unique  lenses with which to interpret and navigate  the world and human experience. They just do.  When a significant amount of same-gendered people  invent, create, and theorize,  the possibilities for the whole of the society become incredibly limited.  The possibilities guiding the future and design of everything from  gadgets, appliances, transportation, medical advancements, financial investments, homes, buildings and communities are substantially limited when a whole gender is nearly eliminated from the table of innovation.

We've got to get earnest about attracting more females to these fields. Our futures depend on it.

As a college freshman, one way to get extra credit in Art History was to visit the Minneapolis Institute of Art and/or the Walker Art Museum and write a reflective composition of the experience.  It was April of 1991, and I set off to the the Twin Cities to visit the museums.

I'd hatched a plan to stay in the dorms on the University of Minnesota campus with my cousin, an engineering student at the University of Minnesota. She invited me to attend classes with her for a day and  I was thrilled to do so.  My cousin was a brain...and she worked hard at it.  She'd tape herself reading her science notes before a test and then use the tape to help quiz herself prior to the exam.  She was serious about her education.  But she was also a ton of fun and easy to laugh and a completely normal  - not some socially awkward, grade-based lunatic unable to get along with normal humans in the real world.  That said, I knew that attending class with her would be completely different than the courses I took college that were more focused on communication and feelings.

There was no doubt her electrical engineering classes would be drastically different than my Literature and Psychology classes, but what blew my mind (beyond the long formulas on the chalkboards) was the blatant discrepancy in gender equity in the lecture halls.  Rooms holding close to 100 people per class, were overwhelmingly male.   It astounded me.   I'm talking maybe 3 females in a class of 100 people.  I had never witnessed such an imbalance in gender in an situation that was not designed according to gender.  It was bizarre.  I had assumed her classes would be half full of other young women like my cousin - gals who enjoyed a good grapple with an insane mathematical mystery - and half full of dudes. I was wrong.  Where were the other women?

That was 1991.  Today things haven't changed much with only 6.7 of every 100 STEM graduates being female.

Why aren't girls venturing down STEM paths?  Are there really that many more boys who are better at STEM related content than girls?  I don't think so. My 7th grade daughter would strongly disagree.

The gender lens in the STEM paths matters.  The gender lens in any industry matters.  And corporations, ideas, innovations, inventions, medical advancements and the future of humanity will all be stronger when the brains behind design, medical breakthroughs, city planning, and environmental engineering include those of both men and women.

We've simply got to get more females at the table - in every sector - and particularly in the STEM sector. I can't help but think that if STEM graduate numbers were equally male and female, our future as humanity  would be exponentially more advanced, a hell of a lot more functional and quite frankly better.

Copacetic. A little poem about a couple good moments.

Copacetic

I silently peeked around the doorway
to check on the dog
and he turned his head toward me,
simultaneously. He felt me before I got there.
I looked at my daughter
as she walked toward me in the hall
and she said,
"I love you, too, mom."
She had read my heart, my eyes, me.
These are moments I adore.
Moments of love in balance.

Northern Winter: A chilly little poem

Northern Winter


White northern winter.  Snow
til spring.  Never disappearing.  Piles growing
higher.

Frozen.
Rare respite.
Deadly.

Chickadee songs inject warmth in the crispness.
Wolves and coyotes fill the sky with howls.
Snow machines' growls burn through icy air.
Ice house villages populate frozen water.

Curling, Skating and Hockey
Jazz band, Orchestra and Art Exhibits
Basketball, Speech and Play Practice
Dance, Pottery and Pilates
Piano Lessons,  4H & Skiing

Life goes on

Oppressive cold and blinding white,
yet the sun shines, eagles soar, owls hunt,
deer roam and fish somehow swim.

People smile, work, run errands and create

and they move
thru
the frozen world

Bundled.

Art Magic: Practicing Piano Produces Positivity

My daughter was sad about something after school a couple Wednesdays ago.   In the midst of the tough time, she had to get to her piano lesson.  Her mood was gloomy when she stepped out of the car. There was a big sigh and a slammed door before she lumbered slowly away and into her teacher's house.

Half an hour later, she emerged.  She was a sparkly, new person - relaxed,standing taller,  more confident, lighter in spirit.  It was like the clouds hanging over her had dissipated.   The piano lesson had pulled her away from the negativity, busied her mind in another way, and as a result, her practice had inspired the release of endorphins, oxytocin and other posi-hormones in the brain - making her feel good on a molecular level.  Her participation in the music lesson improved her state of existence.
Yay.

I used to think I wanted her to take piano because it would be good exercise for her brain to work in a motor, auditory, sensory, visual, linear and creative way all at the same time.  She's involved in community theater and I thought it would help with reading and learning the songs for musicals, too. But I hadn't really considered music practice or lessons as a means to a higher level of mental health, and, quite honestly, an almost instant an anti-depressant until that day.

And it is in a way, an anti-depressant.   I witnessed its magic with my own eyes.

My kid often plays music as she passes by the piano in our house.  She'll just hold up and stand there playing a song or two and then be on her way... Before school, she plays through several songs.  Her music fills the house, she's working her skills and at the same time she's magically tweaking our reality in a fun way, all while, on a biological level, she's washing her own brain with feel good hormones - ensuring a more positive lens with which to view the day.   Like she's shining her soul right before school.

Makes me wonder if people who make opportunities for music regularly in their lives are more emotionally light than those who don't.  They just have to be.

Announcement: Grey is a Haircolor, Too. End the bottle battle!

Growing out grey hair is not for the faint of heart.  It is a strange process.  It takes time and patience. It will test your self confidence.  It will test your family... Now that it's finally over, I can't imagine putting dye on my hair.  (Ok, I'm tempted to put in a little strip of purple on occasion).

I was a premature grayer... it runs in my family.  My mom's hair was nearly all white by the time she was 35.  Mine started greying at 20.  The first dye job, when I was 21, was the beginning of a 21 year, constant relationship between me and the bottle.. Starting with Natural Instincts: Nutmeg, and occasionally going so dark as to the color today known as Ebony Mocha or something... back in my day, I believe it was coined Espresso.   Years rolled along.  Life's path took me to Minneapolis, MN, Sioux Falls, SD, Vermillion, SD, Boulder, CO, Pierre, SD, Spearfish, SD, and Bemidji, MN.  Natural Insticts, Feria,  Colorsilk, Excellence. The whole while, relationships with various men came and went, while my relationship with hair dye stayed in tact. Strong.  Unwavering.  Ugh.

Over the counter haircolors provided many years of happy hues.  Around 2008, I began feeling guilty about the toxins I was massaging into my scalp. In attempt to give my tresses a break, I incorporated  a henna cream instead of chemical dye every now and again. The henna was a bit messy, but easier on my soul... I was working 3 jobs, a full time grad student, grad assisting, teaching an undergrad course and a single mom to a three year old - regardless if it was natural or chemical, the keeping up with my roots started to get my goat.  In my incredibly busy life, I routinely carved out time  to hole up in the bathroom with a bottle of hair dye?! I could think of other ways to spend my time - healthier ways!

after each dye job, I felt good.  Better.  My hair felt smooth, was light reflective, shining, and looked longer and thicker.  For about a week.  After a week or so, the demarcation began.  The white roots, in the earliest days, made it look like my hair was thinning, it broke up the richness of color near the scalp. Within days, the hair would grow to a point that my brown hair no longer connected with my scalp.  In just a couple of weeks, the distance between the dark hair and my scalp was 3/4 inch.  By the end of 2008, the "root touch ups" as they had begun to be called, were happening every three weeks.


I tried growing it out sometime in  '09.  That lasted a whole 8,maybe 10, weeks.    My hair was shortish at the time.  I tried the washouts and then tried just letting it grow.  While it seemed harmless to me, this process was a little hard on the people around me. My boss, a woman, actually pulled me aside and said, "so what is going on with your hair?" She seemed surprised when I told her I was trying to grow out the grey.  When telling my dear friend about the workplace lady, she responded with, "Katie you are too young to go gray.  Wait til you're 50." Ugh.  I wasn't sure I could wait til I was 40.  10 days after we spoke about it, I turned back to the bottle. And like an recovering alcoholic sipping her first drink in two months, it felt good but riddled with guilt.

By the fall of 2010, I found a great colorist. For three years, she amped up my faux brunette locks with light, carmelly-toned strips and rich,dark undertones.  She made my hair look so good, people stopped me on the street to ask who my hairdresser was.  She colored my hair approximately three times a year.  But, between appointments, religiously, every three weeks, I dyed my roots at home.. pulling color thru the entire length of  hair sometimes, sometimes just focusing on the root growth.   My mom dyed my hair on her visits up north and it provided a carved, eh coiffed, time for us to hang. But, mom and daughter time that was so toxic we warned my owned daughter to stay out of the room.  If the weather was good, we colored on the deck. 

Got married in July of 2013 and by early 2014 I was feeling done with dying again.  Went to Hawaii in March with the family. Naturally, I colored my hair two days prior to our trip.  It would be the last time my hair would be colored at home.

2 years 3 mos growth

My good friend's dad was not well, and while I would have liked to have had made time to spruce up my roots, what I really needed was to get my butt to Iowa and pay a visit.  No biggie, I wore a cute hat and took a bandanna..  by the way, now that I don't dye my hair, I do believe that many, er most, of the hats you see on women are covering up new growth.  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!  Now that I don't dye my hair, I've just noticed I wear fewer hats, scarves, bandannas, etc.

The process of growing out grey hair is long, and I think it's harder on loved ones than on she who is growing out her hair.  My mother sent my daughter home from a week long visit with a message for me: you'll look 10 years older if you fulfill this process.  My sister, on several occasions throughout my life between dye jobs and while I was growing my hair out made clear her unease about the change to grey.   But none of it mattered to me.  I was done.  If people had a problem with my hair, that would be their problem.  The bottle battle was over.  They would get used to my new look or they wouldn't.

I've been asked many times for advice on surviving the process of growing out grey hair.   Here's my advice:

1.   Don't get mad at yourself if you bail on the project.  I tried a few different times in life to grow it out and I retreated.  It simply wasn't "my time" yet.  And that's ok.  If you're losing your mind... dye that shiz!  Be of sound mind about everything.
2.   Understand that you're simply going to look strange for awhile.  Hey, you survived 80's hair with one side short and the other long, you survived perms and strange bleach jobs.  You'll survive this, too.
3.  I made sure to tell my husband and my kid that I realized my hair looked odd during the process.  Particularly for my daughter, I wanted her to know that it was ok for her to think my head looked odd.. Hell, it did.   It helped them get through it.  You're changing your entire look.... something they've been used to for years, be easy on 'em!
4. Wear hats.  You have them, I know you do.  If you are someone dying your hair to cover grey, I'll almost guarantee you've worn a hat to cover new growth.  Buy a couple more.

4 mos growth

5. Talk to your stylist.   Once it's grown in an inch or two, have him/her pull some highlights through your hair to lessen the demarcation.  If you have a really great stylist, you may even be able to bleach then dye your hair grey to match the new growth (this wasn't really an option yet when I did mine, but more and more stylists are doing grey/silver hair on clients these days, so investigate)
6.  Don't look in the mirror too much... particularly in in the deep of winter when your face is pasty white and your hair is half one color and half another.  It just is tough on the psyche.
7.  Start a Pinterest board of women with great grey hair so you have some inspiration and can keep your eye on the prize.  Here's a link to mine.  If that doesn't work, I'm Romusun C on Pinterest and the Board is called Grey Inspiration.

You'll get there if you want to.  I did.

A few months ago, I was talking to my daughter about hair dye and said, "who knows, maybe when I'm in my 70s, I'll start dying my hair again.  Life is a long time."  She responded with, "well, you can't dye it now.  You've inspired a bunch of moms in my school alone to stop dying theirs.  You're an inspiration!"

An inspiration to be authentic... I'll take it and run with it!

3 mos growth

 And here are a couple pics of the process.  It's interesting.  The brown hair picture...I'd literally dyed my hair two days prior to leaving for the trip to South Dakota when this picture was taken.  So many dye jobs were timed according to an event to attend or a trip to be take.

Sometimes when I look at myself in pictures it surprises me.  Only lately have I started really recognizng it's me in pics.  Obviously, my appearance looks different, completely different hair color,  like I'm wearing a wig.  I went my entire life with brown hair.  Honestly, the  white/grey/silver hair still feels foreign occasionally.  But those occasions are happening less and less.

Two and a half years later and my hair is essentially the same style and lenth as it was back when I started this process. But it's silver. And I'm completely dye free.  It's wild.  It's me.

August 2014

6 mos growth

8 mos growth

16 mos growth

2 years growth

#NoDAPL Blog entry

I'm just a woman who cares deeply about the pipeline protests in ND right now. I'm a mom who wants her daughter and the future generations to have access to clean pristine waters I'm a gal who thinks it's a bunch of bullshit that a bunch of rich dudes decided to push oil through a pipe below water that impacts the entire world..

I grew up on the waters of Lake Oahe and the Missouri River.  The water is clean.  Above the Oahe Dam, in Lake Oahe, the water is pristine.  On calm days, the water is so clear you can see down until is simply gets too dark from the depth.  When we camped, my friends and I loved washing our hair in the lake.  Our long hair felt so silky and clean.  We felt silky and clean. submerged in and rinsing with pure mountain runoff, we were at one with mother nature, the heavens, all of it.


The Reservior is huge. Spanning more than 231 miles from Pierre, SD to Bismark.  It's volume s around 25 million acre feet.  (An acre foot is enough water to cover a football field at 1 foot deep)...At the time it was built, it was the largest earth dam in the world.  Now it's 14th.  My dad lied about his age to work on the dam construction.

Anyway,  the water and the land around Lake Oahe are amazing, pure, raw and beautiful.  People use the water as their drinking water source, ranchers use the water source for their livestock, farmers irrigate water from the reservoir to their crops.  The 2,250 miles of shoreline are  raw and healthy for environmental conservation and maintaining healthy environmental ecosystems.  People fish, hunt and live off the waters of the reservoir.  In a world where most parts of the planet covet clean water... we've got enough to cover 25 million football fields in a foot of it.  And it's cleaner than water anywhere else.

And this clean water is used as power.. the Oahe Dam, which run 9,300 feet wide, controls the water that creates hydro-electric power,  supplying millions of people in the central united states with the electric energy to live their lives.  "The Oahe Dam has become the largest producer of hydro-elecric energy on the Missouri River".

It's precious land and resources and the thought of a pipe full of oil crossing the reservoir seems like one of the most absurd things I've heard in my life.  Why on earth do that?  Why on earth put the crops, the people, the environment at risk?  In the event of a breached line, the damage will be irreparable in our lifetime or our children.

We know the money will roll in for the oil companies, why can't they figure out a different plan?   They've found the money to pay security forces for the past 4 months...clearly they have money coming down the pike.  Why risk the pristine water?  In the event of a breach, we've seen from others, the habitat for the wild animals is gone, the water sources for communities is gone, the lifestyle of the people along the water is gone.  In the case of the Dakota Access Pipeline, a breach would drastically effect crop production and the health of livestock - in a band of the country whose grains and meats feed the world.  And what happens to the turbines in the hydro-electric dam when they are contaminated with oil?  An explosion?  And then what?  Loss of power to millions for unknown amounts of time because they are on the grid attached to the dam?

Sometimes I feel like the DAPL is well planned, planted terrorism.  Clearly, this area has been off limits - the maps show clearly that this is a special area.  Various lines have been build around the area for years... yet this area remains clear.  Why risk the clean air, the clean water, the clean energy?  It makes no sense.  One leak and tragedy, catastrophe.  Why put a pipe of oil under the heart of our country, pumping clean water through the center of it?  I just don't get it.

I'm grateful to the Indigenous people of the world for coming together to stand up for the water in North Dakota.  If they hadn't, the line would be quietly placed.  In a land where cows outnumber people, it's difficult to make a sound that anyone else can hear.  But the natives have banded together and man is it beautiful.

When I heard about this pipeline getting the go ahead from the Corps of Engineers, I asked a friend who works for the MN DNR waterfowl division what the flyway was saying about it.  He had just returned from a flyway meeting, so I figured they spoke of this project.  He hadn't heard of it.  And neither had is constituents from other states.  Normally, when construction along wetland takes place, the project must meet the needs of state by state environmental assessments.  In lieu of the DNR environmental assessments, from what I understand, DAPL merely applied for easements by the Corps of Engineers, something that is legal, but sneaky and lame.. and they applied under the same category of construction that a telephone company might use to set up telephone poles.  Slightly different risk don't you think - a telephone pole falling into the river as opposed to a hole in a pipeline pouring oil into the river?  But the Corps supported the plan.  And there were no environmental assessments completed.  Why?  According to my friend at the DNR, the answer is simple - the project never would have been given the go ahead.  It is senseless to put the environment at that extreme of a risk.

Dear Dakota Access,
Please re-evaluate and take the more expensive route in order to er on the side of humanity, life, people, earth, water.   This water you're messing with is artery of our nation... and your plan to insert a continuous catheter of oil beneath the heart of it is pure evil.  Don't worry, you'll keep making money.  And in the long run it will cost you much less than paying hundreds of millions in fruitless clean-up efforts, ruining the lives of people along the water shed and forever negatively changing course of history.   You're already paying out the nose for militia security.  Why not use money for positive?  It's never too late to change course.  Do it! Please.

Here's a pretty crude map of pipeline ruptures in the past 5 years. It's not if, it's when.  Don't play with the environment.  We'll never get it back.  

Co-parenting in Peace Blogpost: The Wisdom

Wrote this post years ago and can't figure out how to access my old blog, so I'll share it here.

Update:  Still co-parenting in peace.  My daughter buzzes between houses - I now live around the corner and a couple streets over from her dad, so she can ride her bike or walk the dogs back and forth.  We work around each other's schedules and life goes pretty smoothly.  It's a choice to treat people with respect.  Treat the exes with respect and try to connect with them on a human level.  Getting super upset with them about God knows what (but more than likely it stems from why you are not with them) only makes you crazy.  

 Becoming a mother changed everything for me (as it does most, if not all, of us), and I'm grateful for that. And because I love who my kid is, as an individual, so much, I'm thankful for her dad.  If it hadn't been him, it wouldn't be her.  Even when I'm angry and completely frustrated with her dad over something, I keep that in mind. And...we're going to be part of each other's existence for a long, long, long time... so it seems much more healthy to me to try to figure out how to communicate and solve conflicts with kindness rather than frustration.  

Some of her friends have very strict visitation schedules - not budging for anything.  Others can't communicate with the one parent while at the other parent's house.   I know one family that has so much internal strife, the parents communicate only through the child.   I'm happy we've chosen the high and light road.  I'd recommend it to others.   We're lucky it works.